Shattered Dreams
by DMCNeroisamazing
Summary: Alec has turned darker after Jace interrupted something personal on accident. Now Alec is forcing himself on Jace. Will the younger parabatai stay sane and get through this, or will Alec abuse him to the point of breaking? Rated: M for language and smex. No flames! All flames will be used to make yummy marshmallows and smores. Dominant!Alec Sub!Jace. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: None of the Mortal Instruments characters belong to me. All belong to Cassandra Clare.**

…

**But then again, these completely AU personalities belong to me!**

Chapter One

The late night smells of rain and spring breeze flew in the air as Jace shifted in his bed. He was wide awake. He always was. He hated to sleep, mostly because of the nightmares he had about Valentine and also Sebastian.

His golden eyes trailed over his neat room, making out the outlines of his dresser, the door and the nightstand but unable to see the colors in the pitch blackness. Even if he said otherwise, he hated the dark. Valentine used to lock him up night after night to teach him a form of 'lesson' down there. He nearly died three times.

As Jace closed his eyes for the hundredth time that night, he could hear something from Alec's room. He couldn't even explain the sound. He groaned in anger as he pushed back the blankets and slipped out of his bed.

He slowly walked over to the door, then stopped, looking over himself. Dark blue button up shirt and pajama pants. It's kind of awkward walking into Alec's room when you're a boy and not fully clothed.

Like a zombie, Jace dragged himself to Alec's room next door to his. He quietly knocked on the door but nobody answered. He could still hear a strange sound coming from the room.

Jace gripped the doorknob and turned it, opening the door. His half asleep eyes went wide and his body went ridged at the sight. Alec was sitting on his bed jacking off! Jace quickly swung the door close, blush painting his face. He never thought in a million years he would ever see Alec doing _that_!

While standing there, the door swung open and Alec was standing in front of him. Jace backed up a little bit. Alec looked really angry, his eyes staring into Jace's soul and his lips formed a thin fine line. Jace was about to turn around and leave when Alec grabbed him by the front of his shirt and yanked him into his room.

Jace landed against the wall and Alec stood in front of the door, leaning against it with his arms folded across his chest. He sighed. "You didn't see anything, Jace."

Jace blanched. He said nothing. Alec glared up at him. "You didn't see anything, _did you_?" Alec asked. Jace raised an eyebrow. Alec walked up to Jace and grabbed him with both hands by his shirt. "I asked you if you saw anything, Jace!?"

This pissed him off. Jace yanked his hands off of his shirt. "Shut up. You can't tell me what do you, and I'm not good at listening anyway. Maybe I'll go tell Magnus you were jacking off while thinking of him!" Jace grinned.

A strange anger Jace had never seen shot through Alec. He grabbed Jace's shoulder and threw him harshly on the ground and Alec followed him there. Alec squeezed hard on Jace's wrists as he lifted them above his head.

"Get the hell off me, gay ass freak!" Jace screamed. Alec's eyes went wide, but slowly soothed. His grip loosened a little. Jace was about to make another smart remark when the grip tightened even more than before, starting to cut off blood circulation in his hands. Jace tried to squirm away as Alec licked his lips.

Without warning, Alec's lips crashed against Jace's. The blond was completely taken by surprise, but then it hit him. Alec…was kissing _him_!? His legs started kicking and flailing as Alec roughly pushed to gain entry into Jace's mouth, but his lips were sealed.

Angrier, Alec threw Jace's wrists together above his head and held them down with his right hand while his left roamed his body. He let it slip under the hem of Jace's pants and onto his bare hip.

Jace's breath hitched. He could feel himself shaking as Alec slowly moved his hand down his leg and to his inner thigh. He tried to scream but Alec was still pushing his lips against his. Jace squeezed his eyes shut and felt hot tears sting the edges, when suddenly, Alec seemed to freeze.

The older parabatai lifted his head, staring down at Jace, who was breathing quickly and shaking, his eyes wide with fear. Alec smiled as he pulled his hand from Jace's pants and lifted the restraints on his wrists. "Whaddaya know, high and mighty Jace is scared of sex?"

He chucked and started to get up off Jace when shaking hands gripped his shirt tightly. He looked back down at Jace, the grin on his face fading as he saw his parabatai, the one he lived with since childhood, considered a family-like closeness towards him, shaking with half open eyes as his breath came in short gasps of air. He was hyperventilating!?

**A/N: So I dunno if anyone kinda recognizes the ending a little. I originally got this idea from ChloeHollingsworth's Everyone has their breaking point FanFiction. Sadly, though, it has been on hold for a few years and it seems she isn't willing to continue (but I'm not speaking for her, I'm just saying what it looks like) so I originally thought "Hey, let's make a continuation." but then I was like "wait wat?"**

**So this is like a…Based Off Of fic of ChloeHollingsworth's fic. Give her some credit!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So this is chapter two of my fic! YAY!~ So again;**

**None of the Mortal Instruments characters belongs to me (sadly). If they did this would so be cannon.**

***boom* … *boom* … *boom***

**Can you hear the sound of how cannon this cannon is? THIS SHIP SAILS ITSELF!~***

Chapter Two

Alec stared down in complete and utter disbelief as Jace was gripping to his shirt tightly, gasping for air. But within a few seconds Jace's eyes had slipped shut and his hands fell to the sides, releasing Alec's shirt.

Alec was frozen in place, Jace pinned under him and unconscious. Once he had just comprehended what happened, he slowly pulled himself off the ground and taking a few steps away from Jace's body.

"Jace…?" his voice was shaken. He wanted to see Jace weak and vulnerable, but this…this wasn't what he wanted. "Jace?" he repeated with more definition to his tone, but the younger didn't move.

Alec got on his knees and carefully lifted Jace half off the floor and into his arms. "Jace… open your eyes." a pang of regret hit Alec hard in the chest. He never felt so guilty in his whole life.

He watched helplessly as Jace's breathing was completely off, he was struggling to take in air, his face gone pale and sweat was forming on his skin leaving him shaking slightly in Alec's arms.

He had done _this_?

Slowly, and with more gentleness he ever showed, he lifted Jace bridal style into his arms. It was terrifying how Jace had gone completely limp, his head rolled back against Alec's arm. He pulled the blond a little closer, the regret coming back, but also complete worry. Without second thinking, Alec walked over to the door and nearly kicked it off the hinges. It swung open.

Isabelle's door swung open nearly a second later and she gasped, slowly walking over to her brothers. "Oh my god…J-Jace?! Is he okay?!" she looked into Alec's eyes, guilt written all over his face. She backed away a few steps. "I knew it." she sneered.

Alec looked up in shock. He never heard Izzy say something in that tone. "I _knew_ it!" she repeated more menacingly. "I _knew _we should have _never_ left you alone with him! NEVER!"

Isabelle grabbed her brother's sleeve and nearly dragged him down the hall. "Izzy?" Alec was a little scared. She shushed him. "We're going to the infirmary. _You_ can explain to mom and dad what happened. Explain to Magnus. Explain to _Clary_ what the hell you've done!"

They reached the infirmary quickly, and Isabelle made him lay Jace down on the bed, then get their mom and dad and call Clary and Magnus up.

Maryse and Robert arrived quickly, and Maryse stated Jace had gone into shock, but he was going to be fine. Clary came next and instantly went to Jace's side, kneeling next to the bed. Finally Magnus came, and just leaned against the wall. Once they were all in the room, Alec was forced to speak.

"Alexander. What happened to Jace?" Maryse asked. She tilted her head a little. Alec took a deep breath. This was going to be Hell on Earth. "Uh…" he said plainly, and he felt Isabelle nudge him hard.

"I…I'm sorry." he said quietly, and everyone except Isabelle looked up at him in confusion. Clary stood up. "Jace isn't exactly one to be in shock. There must have been some demon to do this."

Alec flinched at the word 'demon'. Clary was calling him a demon, not knowingly, but still none the less, calling _him_ the demon. "I'm so sorry." Alec repeated, hanging his head. "I did this." he said just above a whisper.

Everyone's faces went completely white. "I was being stubborn. I forced myself onto Jace knowing he didn't want it. But I…I didn't want this to happen."

Magnus turned his head away from Alec, clearly hurt. Clary was standing completely frozen in the spot like her feet were glued to the floor, and her eyes glued on Alec. Robert was giving him a death glare. And Maryse took a few steps forward.

"Alexander Lightwood. You have brought shame to the Lightwood name. You brought shame to Magnus Bane, a man who cares for you with his life, to your sister, your parents, Clarissa, and most of all, you have broken the trust of you parabatai." Her words were like poison.

And with one swift movement she slapped her eldest son across the face. Alec was stunned, but he didn't show it. He was still for a few seconds before he straightened himself out.

He knew deep down Magnus would never, _ever_ forget this. Hell he probably wouldn't ever want to see him again. Isabelle lost her brotherly figure to him. His parents thought he was a disgrace. Clary probably hated his guts. And Jace…Jace…he destroyed the bond with his parabatai and his complete trust and love in him as a brother. His whole life was shattered into pieces because of his arrogance.

At first, he was hoping for his whole family to forgive him, but he _forced _himself on Jace, even gave him a small concussion from hitting the floor so hard.

Maryse and Robert were the first to leave. They both turned around and exited the infirmary, disgust on their faces. Then Magnus, whom he loved so much, disappeared in mid air leaving a trail of sad, rain cloud-like smoke behind. He thought someone else was going to leave, but instead Clary's words now had their turn to hurt him, which he deserved.

"Get out." Clary said darkly. Alec stared at Isabelle for a few seconds. He heard Clary take a deep breath. "I said…GET THE HELL OUT!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, making Alec jump. He bit his lip.

"I'm so…so sorry." he whispered before leaving the room.

**A/N: Did I mention this was my first time EVER attempting a FanFiction. I think this is working out nicely. Anyway, let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Oh yeah, just FYI, Alec is a little…ya know…crazy…if you haven't noticed already. But yeah he's wonderfully crazy in this chapter!**

Chapter Three

Jace slowly opened his eyes to the moon shining through the windows. How long was he out? Or another question, _why_ was he out? He raised his hand to cover his eyes from the moonlight when he saw a light bruise across his wrist.

Then it all hit him, with what Alec did. He yanked the covers off his body and rushed out of the infirmary. He noticed Clary standing in the doorway when he passed by, she was saying something, but he didn't care, he didn't hear her at all. All that was going through his head was beating the shit out of Alec.

Jace knocked lightly on the door of Alec's room, trying to imitate one of the girls, and Alec slowly opened his door just a crack. Suddenly, Jace slammed the door open and punched Alec straight in the face. Alec jumped to his feet, both of the boys meeting head to head.

"What the hell were you _doing_ to me?" Jace screamed. Alec's eye twitched. "You should be grateful you _snot_! I could have kept you in here and-…" but he froze. Would he really go that far?

Jace shoved him. "And what?" Alec let the words spit out of his mouth before his sense of judgment could hold them back. "I could have raped you! You were so weak and vulnerable! You still are!"

That sent Jace over. Jace kneed him in the stomach then roughly grabbed his neat black hair in his fist and slammed his head into a wall. Alec grabbed his shoulder roughly, his nails digging far into his skin, as he threw him into the door, slamming it shut.

Jace charged at Alec, nearly hitting his face, but Alec dodged quickly and grabbed his wrist, twisting it behind his back and slamming Jace back against the door. Anger flooded Alec's head as he ignored Jace's screams of stop and pulled the arm further. A small snap was heard and Jace screamed in pain, crumpling to the ground.

Alec instantly let go and stared in horror at Jace's arm, bent in an unnatural way. He broke it. He _actually_ just broke Jace's arm. Why? Alec took a few steps forward so he was standing over Jace, who was leaning heavily against the door gripping his shoulder tightly.

"Jace…I…I didn't mean-…" Jace kicked his leg forward and to the side, knocking into Alec's leg and throwing him off balance. Alec fell backward and hit the floor hard. He held the back of his head as he sat up slowly, still staring at Jace. He was bearing his teeth at Alec like he wanted to tear him apart.

"You can never fix this," Jace said in a growl. "you will _forever_ be my enemy." Alec felt a lump grow in his throat. Jace was like his brother figure, more than that to Alec, he loved him so much he felt like he was going to explode.

Another wave of anger passed over him. If Jace hated him and they would forever be enemies, than what does it matter the consequences of what he does?

Alec moved like lightning to where Jace was sitting and roughly grabbed his throat. His arm was broken, Jace was at _his_ mercy. With one hand on his throat, the other on the collar of Jace's shirt, he pulled him to his feet and threw him onto Alec's bed. Jace bit back a cry of excruciating pain as his arm hit the mattress.

Alec slowly walked over, watching Jace clutch his arm and watch Alec in horror as he pulled off his shirt and threw it to one side of the room, and his pants and threw them to the opposite side. He was left in his boxers.

Jace scrambled to sit up, but even a breath made him feel like someone was ripping his arm off with a saw. Alec got onto the bed and straddled Jace, slowly undoing his belt buckle.

"This might hurt a little." Alec said quietly. He yanked the belt off it's loops and roughly grabbed both of Jace's wrists. The blond cried in agonizing pain as Alec belted his wrists together and belted them to the headboard of the bed. Alec just grinned. "Told'ya" he whispered.

The older parabatai slowly began to unbutton Jace's dark blue shirt, his eyes lusting over his toned chest. Alec leaned forward and kissed Jace passionately. But it was one sided. Eventually, Alec forced his tongue into Jace's mouth at which the younger gagged and tried to pull away.

Alec pulled back, a small trail of saliva linking them together as he planted kisses on his jaw line, down his neck and to his chest. Alec's tongue traced Jace's left nipple as Jace cried out. Alec bit down harshly causing the blond's back to arch a little, his head pushing into the mattress.

"Good, isn't it?" Alec asked, licking his lips. Jace swallowed hard. "It's…sick!" he nearly screamed. Alec's face went from smiling and amused to angry and serious. He furiously yanked Jace's jeans and boxers off in one quick motion and literally tore his shirt off of him not minding his broken arm, leaving him completely naked with the half naked Alec still straddling him.

Jace could feel his erection against his leg and he cringed, squeezing his eyes shut. "I was trying to be nice and considerate towards you" Alec pulled his boxers off letting him free and slowly shifted Jace's legs from under neath of him, settling them on his shoulders. "but like you said; you never listen, Jace."

Alec mercilessly shoved hard into Jace. The younger screamed in pain, arching his back almost all the way off the bed. Tears were in his golden eyes. "Alec! STOP!" Alec pulled back a bit then thrust even deeper into Jace.

He repeated, slamming hard into him while biting down on his nipples and neck leaving bite marks on his body. Jace struggled and pulled on the belt restraint to no avail. He screamed as Alec's pace quickened and deepened.

"I'm…gonna…" Alec whispered, and Jace felt him come inside of him. Alec pulled out slowly, licking his lips at the sight of both blood and cum dripping from Jace. "Hold still." Alec viciously twisted Jace to the side then somehow got him stomach facing down. "You thought we were finished?" Alec teased.

He pushed back into Jace while reaching for a torn piece of Jace's shirt. He quickly tied it tightly around Jace's erection so he couldn't come. He thrust harder and harder as his fingers tangled in Jace's golden blond hair. He smiled at the sounds of Jace screaming in both pain and pleasure as he came once again inside of Jace. He pulled out then slowly got off the bed.

As Alec reached for his boxers and jeans, he could hear Jace whimpering, tugging uncomfortably not only against his restraints, but also the fact he wasn't allowed to come. Alec pulled on his boxers and pants then reached for his shirt.

"Please…" Alec heard Jace whisper, and he looked at him satisfyingly at the thought of Jace _pleading _for something. "Please what?" Alec asked, slipping on his shirt. He saw Jace tense up. "Let me…please…"

This was certainly amusing. "Let you…what?" Alec mocked, walking towards the door. He was about to open it when Jace barely whispered. "Please let me come." Alec grinned wildly as he strutted back over to Jace and pulled him up back into doggy style.

Alec's hand reached for Jace's erection, and at the touch he felt Jace flinch. His hand teased his head a little and Jace moaned loudly, throwing his head up. "Good boy." Alec whispered in Jace's ear.

His finger pushed down on his slit and Jace cried in pleasure. Alec's hand maneuvered quickly up and down his shaft and Jace yanked against the restraints. "G-God! P-Please Alec! Let me come! Please I b-beg of you…Gods!" Alec's hand slowed down as he untied the piece of shirt from Jace's erection, then quickened his pace once again. Jace screamed with pure pleasure as he released, white coating over Alec's sheets. Alec released him and Jace collapsed onto the bed barely conscious, panting and gasping, his cheeks flushed.

Alec slowly undid the belt and threw it to the side as he pulled out his stele and drew a healing rune on Jace's arm. The bone went back into place and Jace's tense expression receded. The older parabatai grabbed the blanket crumpled at the edge of the bed and pulled them up over Jace's worn out body. He then turned around and left the room, closing the door behind him.

**A/N: You do **_**NOT**_** know how red my face was while typing this up. Oh my gawwd I was squee-ing while writing my own fanfiction. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter kinda sucks, but trust me…it'll get better!**

Chapter Four

Alec walked out of the room, writing a tiny lock rune on the door handle with his stele before heading to the kitchen. Once he got there, he saw Isabelle frying what looked to be broccoli, and Clary sitting at the counter, glaring at him.

He tried to look tense and scared of Clary, but he was feeling wonderful. He had Jace at his mercy, what he has wanted for years, and he finally had sex with him. To be completely honest, when Jace caught him, he wasn't thinking of Alec, but he was thinking of his handsome parabatai…or 'used to be' parabatai.

Clary saw him smirk a little and she slammed her hands on the table, standing up abruptly. "What are _you_ laughing at!?" she screamed. Isabelle didn't turn around, but she just hung her head. Alec looked at Clary wearing worried puppy dog eyes.

"I didn't laugh" a lie, he thought. "I actually feel incredibly guilty" another damned lie. He blinked, looked down at his hands. "I regret ever even touching Jace. I feel so bad. Please, please forgive me Clary?" Alec was laughing inside. If Clary fell for this, she was thicker than she looked. And of course she would, she's a goodie two shoes girl who isn't exactly good at being mean for long periods of time.

"Bullshit." Clary whispered. Alec's innocent look faded. "What?" he asked, his voice cracking. "You heard me! Bull…shit!" Clary rushed towards the opening to the kitchen, Isabelle turning off the burner and going after her. Alec blocked both their paths.

"Where's Jace?" Clary demanded. Alec shrugged. "Asleep…" he was too innocent. He loved Jace, nobody w0uld get in the way. Clary's fists tightened. "So either you're spying on him…" Alec's eyes snapped towards hers. "…or you're lying."

Alec's eye twitched. He straightened up his posture. "Which is it. If you love him oh so dearly, maybe true love can guide you to the correct answer." Clary smirked. "He's in your room, isn't he?" her smartass smirk dropped.

She ran quickly past Alec and Isabelle followed and Alec was right on their tail. When Alec's door came into view, she could see the small lock rune burning on the silver door knob. She yanked out the stele from her pocket and within a split second she broke the lock.

Isabelle was now at her side and Alec was a mere step away, but Clary shoved the door open. She gasped, taking a step back, then ran forward. Isabelle threw her arms against the door frame and her legs spread apart, blocking Alec completely. He clenched his teeth.

Clary sat down on the edge of the bed, slowly pushing a strand of golden hair from Jace's face. Jace tensed up, squeezing his eyes shut. "Don't touch me Alec!" he screamed. Isabelle's eyes widened as she stared at her brother, sucking in a deep breath.

Clary placed her small, smooth hand on his cheek, brushing a tear away. "It's me. Clary. I'm here Jace." Jace's eyes opened. They were red as if he had been crying for hours even though he ran out of the infirmary only half an hour ago.

Jace slowly sat up but when he moved he winced. She just noticed he was only covered with the blanket and that he was completely nude. She slowly got up off the bed and took a deep breath before storming over to the door, pushing past Isabelle and right in front of Alec.

"You sick bastard!" she screamed, slapping Alec, who seemed to not care. "You raped him!? What is _wrong_ with you!?" Alec crossed his arms, trying to look tough. "Jace is your parabatai, someone who will always be there for you! And you completely broke him!" Alec tensed up.

Jace could hear the whole conversation, and it made him sick. He pushed himself to the edge of the bed, but didn't stand. Isabelle seemed to know what to do though. She grabbed his jeans and set them down next to him, mouthing 'I'm sorry' to him before going back to the doorway and giving him some privacy.

Jace slowly slid on the jeans, gritting his teeth at the painful movements. No healing rune could get rid of this pain. He let his arm rest against the wall for support as he half dragged himself over to the doorway and stood behind Isabelle.

"What about Magnus!? He cares about you, more than anyone he ever could care about! He _loved_ you! And you betrayed him just to destroy a second relationship! Are you crazy!?" Clary screamed, shoving his arm. Alec glanced up, but felt that same feeling of regret in his chest as he saw Jace, weak and in pain, looking at him from behind Isabelle's protection.

Alec walked past Clary and shoved past Isabelle to Jace. "He's not _scared _of me, are you, Jace?" Alec asked, but Jace stumbled backward, tripping and falling on his back. He yelped in pain and stared up at Alec with fearful eyes.

Isabelle rushed in between Alec and Jace as Clary knelt down next to the blond, who was having some difficulty sitting up. Alec felt tears in his eyes, his throat squeezing together so he couldn't speak right. "We're parabatai. He could never hate-"

"We aren't parabatai." Jace interrupted. Jace looked up at him with an angry look. "And I couldn't hate you more than I do now." Alec didn't want to believe it. He knew he was having sex with Jace, but he wasn't raping him. They were in love, right? Alec froze. "But we love each other! We're in love!"

Jace snorted. "It's one sided. Last I checked, I was as straight as a circle, Alec." Jace sat up, gripping the dresser next to him for some support, and Clary's arm for the rest. He could barely stand, his legs were jell-o. He just allowed Clary to hold onto his arm to hold him up. "I knew you were gay for a while, but I never thought of you doing this. It's sick, and besides…" Alec hung his head for another insult. "…someone else loves you more than I could ever."

Alec looked up, then saw Isabelle, Clary and Jace staring behind him. Alec spun around to see what they were all looking at. His breath caught in his throat. "Magnus?"

**A/N: Badum tssss! Yeah, I'm sure this is a for shit fanfiction, but I enjoy it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Chapter Five…yay…let's do this…hope you are enjoying this guys, tell me if you are cuz I'll feel guilty if you aren't.**

Chapter Five

Alec froze on spot, staring up at the warlock. He was leaning against the door behind him, his arms folded across his chest and he was staring dead into the eyes of Alec. It was like he was reading his mind or his thoughts.

"Is what they say true?" Magnus asked, closing his eyes. "Did you really do that to Jace, the one you call parabatai?" Alec's voice left him as he tried to search for words. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could a harsh slap came across his face. He could feel nail marks on his cheek where the warlock just slapped him.

"You are a selfish child, Alexander" Magnus paused, taking in a deep breath. "and that's why I will give you one, and _only_ one last chance. Make amends. Until your parabatai trusts you once more to be in the room alone with him. Until your parents will listen to you and take you seriously. Until your sister will be able to see you as a brother. Until Clarissa will be able to look at her boyfriend and _not_ see you reflected in his eyes. Fix _everything_, and then we'll talk."

Magnus turned and walked away down the hall, vanishing midway. Alec spun around to face the others. Isabelle was glaring at him, while Clary was helping Jace to his room. Isabelle spoke up when Clary closed the door to Jace's room. "Why him?" she asked, looking at Clary, then they both stared at Alec for an answer.

He swallowed harshly, then hung his head. "I don't know" he whispered. "and I regret ever doing it." Clary rolled her eyes and walked over to Isabelle. "Regret doing what you did to him, or regret getting caught? That is the question you gotta ask yourself" she walked over to her bedroom door and opened it. "and by the way, the probably of you 'making amends' with me or Jace is very, _very_ slim. I'm taking him to my house tomorrow. I don't trust you alone with him." She walked into her room and closed it behind her.

Isabelle walked to her own door. She looked over at her brother but didn't say anything, and walked into her room, closing the door silently. He was alone once again. He really _did_ regret it. It was nice seeing Jace vulnerable, but once it was over, he questioned if he _really_ should've done _that_?

He walked into his own room but didn't dare to lay down on the bed. He curled up on the wood floor beside his bed, the sheets hanging off the edge of the mattress balled in his hands. _Was is worth it? _he thought, closing his eyes slowly. _Was doing that to Jace worth it. I can't ever fix what I just did. He'll forever hate me._

He felt tears in his eyes as Alec rolled onto his back and stared blankly up at the ceiling. "Sorry…" he whispered, but it was empty and useless unless someone was listening. He closed his eyes.

"You mean it?"

Alec shot upright and ran to his door. He swung it open to Jace, who was leaning against the doorframe, his hands in his pockets. He licked his lips nervously and looked up at Alec. "You really mean that you're sorry?" he asked again.

Alec was speechless. Jace came to _him_? Knowing he was alone? Alec glanced down at the floor. "Yeah. I really do mean that."

Jace lifted his chin up to stare at him directly in the eyes. "You mean you _seriously_ mean it?" Alec blinked away tears. "Yes." he whispered. Jace released him and stepped away from the doorframe to his own room. "Sorry won't cut it for the others."

Alec was shocked. "You mean you forgive me?" Jace chuckled. "I accept that apology, but nothing will forgive what you did. Do that again I swear to the Gods I'll kill you Alexander." Jace walked back over to Alec and smacked him upside the head lightly, as if a joke, then walked back into his room.

Alec stood in the doorway, absolutely silent and still. It took him a minute to realize that after all he had done, Jace forgave him within a mere apology that he thought nobody could hear. Alec smiled a little.

_He really is my parabatai…_

**A/N: Yay? Nay? Just tell me how I'm doing…I'm nervous because this is my first and I think it'll be bad! ;_;**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So I am SOOOOO SORRY for not updating sooner. It's just school has recently started, and being I'm a freshman, I gotta keep my shit together and not mess up early. So I'm writing this at like…near midnight on a Sunday (I have two quizzes tomorrow) so this is HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU GUYS!**

Chapter Six: Unwelcome

Alec slowly walked down the hallway, remembering last night. _Is it all real? Is Jace really over it? And what about Magnus…_All the thoughts were swimming in his head. He couldn't handle it. It was driving him off the edge.

He turned the corner into the kitchen to see Clary, Isabelle, Simon and Magnus all sitting at the table. His heart leapt in his throat as he swung himself against the wall, hoping they didn't see him.

And they didn't. Nobody seemed to notice him. He sighed with relief.

"Sneaking around?"

Alec's eyes snapped open. As he glanced to the left, he saw Jace. Leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. He looked really angry.

Alec wanted to speak, wanted to say something to Jace. But what was he supposed to say? Sorry? That wouldn't work in a situation like this. Instead he pushed back the anxious lump in his throat and stepped up face to face with the blond.

For a second, neither of them said nothing. Until Jace spoke up.

"What are you playing at?" he asked, his voice venom.

Alec was shocked. Last night, not even twelve hours ago, did he forgive him (not in the best manner, but still?) and now he was angry again.

"What do you mean?" Alec asked, trying to stay calm. "You forgave me yesterday, didn't you?"

Something inside Jace snapped. "Forgave!? I _never _forgave what you did. I was simply stating the fact that you shouldn't beat yourself up over it." he looked over Alec with disgust. "And I see you're doing _perfectly fine_!"

"What do you want me to do? Run away? Cut my self? Commit suicide for the horrible thing I did?" Alec screamed harshly.

Jace drew in a breath. "Of course not! I was hoping for a simple _fucking _apology!"

Alec was still. Silent like the dead. He went rigid all over. He pulled in a shaky breath to say the words, but not enough courage to produce the sound. Instead, he lowered his head and shoved past Jace, knocking his shoulder lightly.

To everyone who was watching, Alec looked like he didn't care.

But in reality he was crying.

He could hear the tears fall onto the wood floors as he quickly walked away from the others. He hid the soft sobs and gasps in his sleeve, but once he slammed the door to his room, he began to choke out air, hot warm droplets of salty water streaming down his face and slipping into his mouth.

A wave of anger passed over him, and he roughly grabbed his hair with two fistfuls, pacing back and forth in the small room. He kicked the dresser, banged his head against the wall, anything that would cause him pain.

And he stopped.

Alec collapsed onto his knees, still holding the painful clumps of hair in his hands, his knuckles turning white from the tightness. His skull was screaming from the strain, and he released his black, now messy bed-head hair, and simply let his hands fall into his lap.

With a deep breath, he raised his head just enough to see a flash in the corner of his room out of his peripheral vision. His eyes traced over to the area, his head following and he saw it.

A dagger.

**A/N: OH! OOH! OOOOOH! Cliffy! …again.**

**But yeah, sorry for updating like…a month later! ;_; please don't attack me.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So…next chapter…let's not waste time…reading this…or whatever okay let's just**

Chapter Seven: Do you even care?

Alec's fingers trembled slightly as he reached for the dagger. It wasn't a Seraph Blade, but a normal, high carbon steel blade. As he grabbed hold of the hilt, the icy cold metal was chilled against his skin.

He raised it slowly to eye level. For a moment, he just stared at his reflection. His pathetic reflection.

Within an instant he roughly brought the dagger down against his skin, just below his wrist. His eyebrows were furrowed with anger, his heart slamming in his ears. He had been cut before, but never like this.

Alec pushed down harder as he sluggishly dragged the sharp blade horizontally across his arm. At first, his eyes were squeezed shut from the sharp pain, but he soon relaxed, learning to take the pain as pleasure.

As if a drug addiction, he frantically moved down nearly a centimeter and dragged another lengthwise cut across his wrist. He watched with amazement but also disgust as ruby red blood blobbed over the wounds and streamed down the sides of his wrist.

Magnus slowly walked down the hallway, glancing between door to door leading to the empty rooms. After all, only a few people stayed in the huge institute.

He continued past Alec's door, then stopped halfway to the other door. He rolled his eyes and spun majestically around, playfully jogging back to his door and knocking quickly three times.

No answer.

Magnus turned around to walk away when he heard a blade drop to the floor. His head snapped over to the door, his eyes wide with concern. Instinctively, he nearly kicked the door off it's hinges as he rushed into the room.

He changed from worried to sympathetic as he quickly got to his knees and crouched down next to Alec. Magnus opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out, leaving his mouth slightly open with confusion.

"Alexander…what have you-"

"You can't tell Jace." Alec interrupted. His eyes were pleading.

Magnus carefully grabbed his arm, just below his elbow and pulled it closer to him. He sighed, closing his eyes and lowering his head.

"Get your stele out, we'll just heal this and nobody will know."

Alec snatched his arm back and Magnus looked up and froze, a hurt look on his face. "Alec, I'm trying to help you…" His sentence trailed off.

Magnus then slowly began to tear a long strip from off his coat and then simply took back Alec's arm, which he tried to pull away at first. The warlock was careful as he spun the cloth around Alec's arm, covering the cut wounds. He then tied it off quickly, stood up and left the room, leaving Alec alone once again.

**A/N: MY GOOOOOD! I'm really bad at this whole updating on time. It's like been a month or something AND I FEEL SOOOO BAD FOR NOT UPDATING! *bangs head against laptop* Hoped you enjoyed!~**

***whispers* sorry it's short…**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So this is probably last chapter. Mainly because I got a GREAT ending idea (at least to me it's great) and a sliver because I gotta get caught up with school stuff (ugh being a freshman in HS sucks!) but ya know… I'm gonna be writing other things too. And I am so, SO, SOOO sorry for updating this thing SO FRIGGIN LATE! **

Chapter Eight: Make it Up, for Both of Us…

_What is Magnus doing? _Alec thought, still sitting on the floor. _Isn't he supposed to be with me? Helping me further? _Alec then shook his head at how ridiculous he sounded. _Damn. I sound like some bitchy little princess…what am I doing?_

He stood up, grabbing a loose and long sleeved jacket. When he got outside his room, he could hear running footsteps. He turned his head to check who it was. Alec cursed under his breath seeing both Jace _and_ Magnus running toward him. Jace was screaming something at him.

"You stupid idiotic moron!" was what Jace was yelling.

_Oh. _Alec thought, raising an eyebrow. _That's not too bad…_

Jace was now face to face with his parabatai, and he roughly grabbed his wrist and lifted the sleeve of the jacket. He didn't look worried for Alec. He didn't seem scared. If anything, he looked even more pissed off.

And he was, seeing how he threw a fast punch at Alec's face. The older parabatai stumbled backward. He was about to punch Jace back when instead of another hit…it was a hug.

Alec was frozen. Jace was so angry he punched him, and now he's hugging him. _Why?_ he thought, looking over Jace's shoulder to Magnus, who was leaning against the wall smiling a little.

"Just because you did one wrong…terrible thing…doesn't mean you have to hurt yourself over it." Jace whispered. Alec felt him shake as he took in a breath. "You are _my _parabatai. You always will be no matter what. And I could _never_ forgive myself if you died or got hurt for any reason at all. Especially if I could have done something to prevent it."

Jace stepped back. He looked as if he was about to cry.

"So just…stop doing what you are doing. Just go back to the normal Alec. The one who was here a week ago. 'Cuz I'm sick and tired of your "oh poor me" stage."

Alec rolled his eyes. _He managed to turn a super sentimental moment into a complaining teenager moment._ "Yeah…sorry…about everything." Alec sighed. Jace just nodded, turning on his heel and leaving.

Alec bolted awake, the sun rising in his bedroom window. _I was have fallen asleep right after. I don't remember even going back to my room._ He thought and he stood up. _I should probably get my stele to these cuts. I don't want to get a damned infection because of my arrogance._

He raised his sleeve without looking and grabbed his stele, resting on the nightstand. He slowly lowered the stele and looked down to see what he was doing.

And he froze.

They were gone. All the marks, everything, gone. He searched for a faded rune mark frantically, but there was none. _Magnus must have healed it already._

Alec quickly left his room and sped walked down the hallway. His heart was beating loudly in his ears. When he rounded the corner into the kitchen, only Jace and Isabelle were there.

"Did Clary and Magnus leave already?" Alec asked, sitting across from Jace. The blond raised an eyebrow. "Clary and Magnus…they never were here." Jace said with a laugh laced in his voice. Isabelle turned to face Alec, but she turned back to cooking the eggs.

"Wait." Alec looked down at the table, then shot back up to looking at Jace. "They were _never_ here? Are you sure?" Jace laughed. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I know if someone is in our house or not, Alec. Maybe you were having a really vivid dream or something."

Alec turned completely white.

A dream? It was all a dream?

**A/N: PLOT TWIST! Yeah. Sorry. I've been wanting to end that way since like…chapter four haha. I just thought that would be kinda cool. But ya know first I had to end the dream with a nice-ish ending. So…yeah…sorry if you don't like the ending. Sorry if I took too late. But it's Sunday, I got nothing better to do than finish this. And I get to watch Once Upon a Time tonight so I bid farewell to you.**

**Oh yes. Thank you all for reading my really shitty first time fanfiction!**

**Next up! … … … I have no fucking clue…**


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